Got Insults?

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down

You're the reason they invented double doors!

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass.

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."

Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.

You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't.

Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.

You shouldn't play hide and seek, no one would look for you.

Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit

You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.

If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!

There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.

You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumbass forest.

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.

What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

You're not funny, but your life, now that's a joke.

There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket!

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?

It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.

If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.