Intelligence Insults

Insulting ones intelligence may be funny but it's serious business. You must think you're the smartest person around huh? If you want to call people stupid, go right ahead, but get ready to get your butt whooped!

You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.

I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.

If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate".

You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Please tell me you don't home-school your kids.

Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.

Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.

You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity?

You're stupid because you're blonde.

Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!

We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

If you had another brain, it would be lonely.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

So you've changed your mind, does this one work any better?

It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.

You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

If your brain exploded, it wouldn't even mess up your hair.

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills.

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the 'impression' that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals.

If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

You better hope you marry rich.

You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.

You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about.

You prefer three left turns to one right turn.

You must have a Teflon brain, because nothing sticks.

You conserve toilet paper by using both sides.

You're so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.

Don't get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance?

Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

I'm blonde, what's your excuse?

If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.

If you were any dumber I would have to water you twice a week.

If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar.

Your asinine simian countenance alludes that your fetid stench has anulled the anthropoid ape species diversity.

You're so stupid you tried to wake a sleeping bag.

Wow, you're even dumber than you look.

When it comes to IQ, you lose some every time you use the bathroom.

Your brain must be made out of rocking horse shit.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.

I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

I thought you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth.

You should spend less time at the gym and more time working on your personality.

You're a prime candidate for natural de-selection.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

You've got photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled.

If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd get change.

You you were any more stupid, you'd have to be watered twice a week.

You have two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

You do realize that people just tolerate you?

You're not pretty enough to be this stupid.

I've been called worse things by better people

You're as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense.

I can't imagine what qualities you may have that would compensate for your behavior in public.

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

You're outstanding in your field, and that's where you should be,

out standing in your field.

When I want your remarks, I'll rattle your cage.

If there's nothing to say, I'm sure you'll say it.

You're making a fool of yourself, and I've never seen better craftmanship.

Why don't you act like a human being or don't you do impersonations?

There's nothing I won't do for you, and I'm going to keep on doing it.

Would you mind reaching into your heart and getting me a piece of ice?

I'm forming an attachment for you, it fits right over your mouth.

You're just what the doctor ordered, shock treatment.

Why don't you take a powder, preferably arsenic.

You came from nothing, and you brought it with you.

You've given me something to live for, REVENGE.

You're not the person you used to be, and you never were.

I've heard alot about you, now let's hear your side of the story.

Of course I'll give you a hand, right across the mouth.