Gut Busting Fat Insults

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down

You're the reason they invented double doors!

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit

You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumbass forest.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.

There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket!

Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin!

You're so fat, you could sell shade.

You look like a before picture.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Just wait till you can't fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from?

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head

You must be on the seafood diet. When you see food, you eat it!

You have enough fat to make another human.

You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!

You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.

You're so fat, your double chin has a double chin.

You're so fat, when you take a shower your feet don't get wet!

You're so fat, you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.

You're a light eater alright. As soon as it gets light, you starts eating.

I'm not saying you're fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and someone forgot to say "when"

You're so fat, if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take their word for it!

People like you are the reason I work out.

You're so fat, you sweat gravy.

You're so fat your shadow casts a shadow.

Get off your high horse! You're too fat and the horse is in pain.

I'm not saying you're slow, but I've seen slugs pass you on the treadmill.

When you walk down the street, people don't yell 'nice shirt', they yell 'nice tent'

Do you have to grease yourself to get through doors?

I heard when you go to all-you-can-eat buffets, they make everyone else leave.

If you were any fatter, you'd be a new element on the periodic table.

I bet you can't fit through a standard doorway without needing the Jaws of Life.

Your stomach is so big, it has its own gravitational pull, and I think I just felt the tide come in

You must be a baker, because you're always loafing around and you're so bloated

You're not fat, you're just allergic to mirrors, because every time you see one, it breaks

If I wanted to see the sun set over a larger body of mass, I'd go to the moon and watch it set over your ego

You're not obese, you're just on the 'see food' diet: you see food and you eat it

I'm not a meteorologist, but I can forecast that your thighs will be bringing the thunder and your stomach will be bringing the lightning

You're so fat, the last time you saw your feet, the Clintons were still in the White House

Your fat could be used to power a small town.

Do you have to special order clothes, or do you just buy a tent?

I'm starting to think your extra weight is from all the crap people give you.

You're not fat, you're just carrying your stomach with you for safety.

If you got lost in the wilderness, you'd have enough fat to survive for years.

You must be a time traveler from the land of 'before diets'.

I've seen less fat on a well-marbled steak.

Your stomach is so big, it has its own ecosystem.

I'm not saying you're fat, but I've seen smaller manatees.

You're so fat, you've started your own gravitational pull.

You're so fat your belly button has an echo echo echo...

Every time someone calls you fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.

You know you're fat when no one has mentioned you're also ginger.

You're so fat, when you jump in the air, you get stuck!