Ugly Insults

Have a laugh by telling your friends how ugly they are with our hilariously funny insults. Just make sure they know they're pretty on the inside.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Your mom must have a really loud bark!

Nice tan, orange is my favorite color.

Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!

Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Looks aren't everything; in your case, they aren't anything

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?

If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

You have a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy.

There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.

You're not exactly bad looking. There's just one little problem between your ears - your face!

You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!

Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face.

You're so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you!

You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!

I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement!

I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.

I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job.

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.

You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.

You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.

You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks.

You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.

Your face makes onions cry.

I'd say that you're funny but looks aren't everything.

You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.

Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Your hockey team made you goalie so you'd have to wear a mask.

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldn't wear them.

You're so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight.

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

With a face like yours, I'd wish I was blind.

You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.

Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.

You're so ugly words can't explain it. So I'll just go throw up.

Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.

You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

You should eat some of your make up so you can be pretty on the inside.

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

I've seen transvestites who look more feminine than you.

I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.

If shit looked at you, it would call you daddy.

The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.

Your family tree must be a circle.

Go apologize to your mother for not being a stillborn.

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't.

You're so ugly you scare the shit back into people.