Funny Ugly Insults

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't.

Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.

There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?

The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks.

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Your face makes onions cry.

You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.

You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.

You're so ugly you scare the shit back into people.

I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement!

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!

I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job.

You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.

Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

With a face like yours, I'd wish I was blind.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.

If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

Your hockey team made you goalie so you'd have to wear a mask.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

Looks aren't everything; in your case, they aren't anything

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?

You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.

You're not exactly bad looking. There's just one little problem between your ears - your face!

Nice tan, orange is my favorite color.

You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.

You're so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you!

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?

You should eat some of your make up so you can be pretty on the inside.

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.

You have a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy.

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.

God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!

You're so ugly words can't explain it. So I'll just go throw up.

Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.

I'd say that you're funny but looks aren't everything.

I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.

I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.

You're so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight.

You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!

Your family tree must be a circle.

The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldn't wear them.

I've seen transvestites who look more feminine than you.

If shit looked at you, it would call you daddy.

Nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance?

Go apologize to your mother for not being a stillborn.

Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face.

Your mom must have a really loud bark!