Eye Insults: Where 20/20 Vision Meets 0/10 Personality
Looking for a way to roast someone's peepers? You've come to the right place
Sightless and clueless
Your eyes are so beady, they look like two shiny rat turds on your face.
I've seen more attractive eye holes on a potato.
Your peepers are so small, I'm starting to think you're a cave-dwelling creature.
You have the eyes of a sedated sloth, completely unimpressed by life.
I'm not saying your eyes are ugly, but they make me want to donate to a charity that helps people with unfortunate facial features.
Your gaze is as empty as the promise of a timeshare salesperson.
If your eyes were any closer together, they'd be kissing.
You must be a master thief, because you're always stealing the spotlight with your atrocious eye makeup.
I've seen people with more expressive eyes on a corpse.
Your eyes are like two dull pencils, completely useless for anything except maybe poking out someone else's eye.
I've seen more life in a pair of marbles, and at least they're symmetrical.
I've seen people with more expressive eyes on a Mr. Potato Head toy, and at least it's fun to play with.