**Skinny Insults**: For People Who Are a Little Too Thin

Your voice is so high-pitched, I think you must be a human-shaped mouse.

You must be the love child of a toothpick and a human.

Your muscles are so underdeveloped, I think a strong breeze could knock you over.

I've seen more substantial-looking fog.

Your bones are so weak, I think I could snap them with my bare hands.

If you sat on a whoopee cushion, it would probably swallow you whole.

Your face is so drawn, it looks like you're perpetually disappointed.

You must be an expert at slipping through tight spaces.

If you were a balloon, you'd be the one that nobody blew up.

You're so skinny, you could slip through a sewer grate.

I'm starting to think you're just a walking, talking, human-shaped void.

If you were a stick, you'd be the one that snapped in half.

Your skin is so dry, it looks like the surface of the moon.

Do you have to use a toy steering wheel to drive a car?

If you were a stick figure, you'd be the simplest one I've ever seen.

You're so skinny, you make a broomstick look fat.

If you were a human-shaped hole in the ground, I think I'd fall into you.

Your ears are so small, I think you must have trouble hearing.

If you were a type of animal, you'd be a starving, malnourished chicken.

You must be a walking, talking, human-shaped scarecrow.

Your knees are so bony, I think you must have trouble standing up.

If you were a balloon animal, you'd be the one that the clown didn't bother to twist.

Your lips are so thin, I think you must have trouble speaking.

If you were a human-shaped piece of clay, you'd be the one that's too dry to mold.

You must be a human-shaped stick figure, except instead of sticks, you're made of disappointment.

If you got any thinner, I think you'd turn into a human-shaped shadow.

You're so skinny, you make a skeleton look fat.

If you were a type of fruit, you'd be a raisin.

Your waist is so small, I'm surprised you don't get stuck in a drinking straw.

I'm not saying you're skinny, but I've seen spaghetti with more meat on it.

Your body is 90% air, 10% regret.

If you got any thinner, you'd be a human slinky.

I've seen stronger-looking twigs in a bird's nest.

You must be a human straw, because you're sucking the life out of everyone around you.

I didn't know you could fold a human being like a piece of paper.

Your skin is so transparent, I can see your lack of self-esteem.

Do you need to stand on a chair to reach the sink, or do you just use a straw?

Your ribcage is so visible, it looks like a xylophone.

Your bones are so brittle, I'm afraid a gentle breeze will shatter them.

If you weighed any less, you'd be a negative mass.

You must be the human version of a paperclip, because you're so thin and useless.

I'm not saying you're frail, but I've seen a leaf with more substance.

You're so skinny, you make a toothpick look like a redwood tree.

You're like a human pencil, except instead of lead, you're filled with hot air.

I've seen shadows with more depth than you.

Do you have to pay extra to get a seatbelt extension on an airplane?

You're so skinny, you could fit inside a Dorito bag.

If you sneezed too hard, I'm pretty sure you'd turn inside out.

Your face is so gaunt, it looks like a skull with skin stretched over it.

If you were a pizza, you'd be a thin crust with no toppings.

Your skin is so pale, it looks like you're allergic to sunlight.

Do you get a senior discount at restaurants because you look like a frail old man?

You must be a contortionist, because you can fit inside a shoebox.

Your head is so small, I'm surprised you can fit a thought inside it.

I've seen healthier-looking corpses.

Your legs are so thin, I'm surprised you don't tip over in the wind.