**Skinny Insults**: For People Who Are a Little Too Thin

You must be an expert at slipping through tight spaces.

Your skin is so dry, it looks like the surface of the moon.

If you were a stick, you'd be the one that snapped in half.

Your shoulders are so narrow, I think you'd get stuck in a standard doorway.

Your arms are so skinny, they look like pipe cleaners.

I'm starting to think you're just a walking, talking, human-shaped void.

You're so skinny, you could slip through a sewer grate.

If you were a balloon, you'd be the one that nobody blew up.

Your stomach is so flat, I think you might be a human-shaped piece of cardboard.

Do you have to use a toy steering wheel to drive a car?

Your face is so drawn, it looks like you're perpetually disappointed.

If you sat on a whoopee cushion, it would probably swallow you whole.

Your bones are so weak, I think I could snap them with my bare hands.

Do you have to drink water through a coffee stirrer?

I've seen more substantial-looking fog.

Your muscles are so underdeveloped, I think a strong breeze could knock you over.

You must be the love child of a toothpick and a human.

If you were a stick figure, you'd be the simplest one I've ever seen.

Your voice is so high-pitched, I think you must be a human-shaped mouse.

You're so skinny, you make a broomstick look fat.

If you were a human-shaped hole in the ground, I think I'd fall into you.

Your ears are so small, I think you must have trouble hearing.

If you were a type of animal, you'd be a starving, malnourished chicken.

You must be a walking, talking, human-shaped scarecrow.

Your knees are so bony, I think you must have trouble standing up.

If you were a balloon animal, you'd be the one that the clown didn't bother to twist.

You're so skinny, you could fit inside a hamster wheel.

Your lips are so thin, I think you must have trouble speaking.

If you were a human-shaped piece of clay, you'd be the one that's too dry to mold.

You must be a human-shaped stick figure, except instead of sticks, you're made of disappointment.

If you got any thinner, I think you'd turn into a human-shaped shadow.

You're so skinny, you make a skeleton look fat.

If you were a type of fruit, you'd be a raisin.

Do you need to stand on a chair to reach the sink, or do you just use a straw?

You're like a human pencil, except instead of lead, you're filled with hot air.

If you got lost in a crowd, I'm pretty sure nobody would notice.

Your waist is so small, I'm surprised you don't get stuck in a drinking straw.

I'm not saying you're frail, but I've seen a leaf with more substance.

You must be the human version of a paperclip, because you're so thin and useless.

If you weighed any less, you'd be a negative mass.

Your bones are so brittle, I'm afraid a gentle breeze will shatter them.

Your ribcage is so visible, it looks like a xylophone.

I've seen shadows with more depth than you.

Your skin is so transparent, I can see your lack of self-esteem.

I didn't know you could fold a human being like a piece of paper.

You must be a human straw, because you're sucking the life out of everyone around you.

I've seen stronger-looking twigs in a bird's nest.

If you got any thinner, you'd be a human slinky.

Your body is 90% air, 10% regret.

I'm not saying you're skinny, but I've seen spaghetti with more meat on it.

You're so skinny, you make a toothpick look like a redwood tree.

Do you have to pay extra to get a seatbelt extension on an airplane?

You're so skinny, you could fit inside a Dorito bag.

If you sneezed too hard, I'm pretty sure you'd turn inside out.

Your face is so gaunt, it looks like a skull with skin stretched over it.

You must be a master of hide-and-seek, because you can hide behind a lamp post.

Your skeletal system is more prominent than a medical school display.

If you were a pizza, you'd be a thin crust with no toppings.

I'm starting to think you're just a human-shaped hole in the air.

Your skin is so pale, it looks like you're allergic to sunlight.

Do you get a senior discount at restaurants because you look like a frail old man?

If you were a type of pasta, you'd be an undercooked spaghetti strand.

You must be a contortionist, because you can fit inside a shoebox.

Your head is so small, I'm surprised you can fit a thought inside it.

I've seen healthier-looking corpses.

Your legs are so thin, I'm surprised you don't tip over in the wind.