The Nose Knows: Insults to Make You Laugh and Cry
Picking on the proboscis, one insult at a time
Nose so big, it needs its own zip code
It appears your nose has declared independence from the rest of your face and is now its own sovereign nation, complete with a flag and national anthem.
The only thing bigger than your nose is the gap in your self-awareness about how enormous it is.
It appears that a small, angry cucumber has attached itself to your face and refuses to let go.
Someone should put a bell on your nose, because every time you walk into a room, it's a surprise party.
Your nose could rival the Great Wall of China in terms of length and historical significance.
If your nose were any bigger, it would have its own weather system with storms and hurricanes.
It looks like a chunk of the Rocky Mountains decided to relocate to your face.
I've seen smaller noses on a sperm whale, and theirs is used for echolocation.
You must be a human version of a satellite dish, because your nose picks up signals from space.
I'm starting to think your nose is secretly a tapir that's trying to escape your face.
Your nose is so massive, it's now considered a separate continent by the UN.
I've seen smaller noses on a cartoon character.
If your nose were any bigger, it would have its own Instagram account and more followers than you do.
Your nose is so big, I'm starting to think it's a separate organ that's trying to escape from the rest of your face.
I've seen less prominent noses on a cartoon character, and that's saying something because cartoons are known for their exaggeration.
You must be a human air traffic controller, because your nose is directing all the traffic in the room.
That nose of yours is so prominent, it's starting to develop its own personality, and frankly, it's kind of a jerk.
Your nose could sniff out a needle in a haystack, or a polar bear in a snowbank, from 500 yards away.
It looks like a hawk built its nest on your face and forgot to leave.
I'm starting to think your nose is actually a failed science experiment that got out of control.
Your nose is so massive, it's visible from space, and astronauts are using it as a landmark.
Your nose is so large, it needs its own agent.