**Old Insults**: Because Age is Just a Number
Roast Your Older Friends and Family with Our Brutal Old Insults
Old insults for older people, because age is just a number, but it's still funny to make fun of
I've seen more excitement at a timeshare presentation.
You've got more creaks and groans than an old wooden rocking chair that's been used too much.
You've got more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei's face after a long nap.
I'm starting to think you're not old, you're just 'experienced', like a bad amusement park ride that's been shut down.
I've seen more excitement at a library's silent reading room.
You're so old, you remember when 'swag' was just a bad word for 'awkward'.
I've seen more excitement at a DMV.
You've got more aches and pains than a chiropractor's office.
You're older than the first tweet, and that's a real 'fowl' mouth.
You're so old, you've got a 'get off my lawn' sign, but it's in Braille.
I've seen more life in a sedated sloth.
Your age is like a fine wine, it only gets more bitter with time.
I've heard of senior moments, but yours are more like senior years.
You're older than the internet, and almost as slow.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
You're so old, you remember when a tablet was something you took for a headache.
I've seen more energy at a retirement home bingo night.
You're not over the hill, you're just on the other side, where the view is worse.
Your birth certificate is a historical document.
You're older than Google, and that's saying something.
I'm not saying you're old, but I heard the early bird special is named after you.